He didn’t want it to end, because he knew the absence of her would hurt more than any breakup ever could.
But she left anyway, and he was alone in his room, searching out anagrams for mymissingpiece in a vain attempt to fall asleep.
– An Abundance of Katherines by JohnGreen
I had the idea of writing about this blog post from a while now but I was quite reluctant as I am in the beginning of my writing practice and wasn’t sure if my words would be able to convey my feelings well. But I have been asked to write it anyway and see the response instead. So I guess I will just write about it and leave the rest on you all. 🙂
A few weeks back I met a couple of my friends over coffee. We had been together since school, like grade one till date. Last year we had a rift, and I kind of fell apart from the rest of the group and stayed that way for most of the year until recently. I let go all my anger and went back to being good friends because really how sure are you of life? Do you want to depart on bad terms with the only people you called friends? Anyhow, I wasn’t myself anymore with regards to sharing my feelings or staying in touch. If I was in a bad mood I wouldn’t bother talking. I would listen to everyone and their routines but I wouldn’t share anything of mine, just that I am doing fine and busy with college.
Some time before we planned to meet up, I finally realized I really had no one I shared my inner thoughts with (excluding a few very amazing people). But no one I really hung out or had fun with, someone who knew me through all my layers, and had seen me at my best and worst. I also realized, making new friends wasn’t easy and wasn’t even doing me any good either as it took some time to know them, a lot of time to trust them, or in the end getting to know they talk shit about you, no matter how nice you had been to them.
I tried talking to my close friends openly again. I tried to share my feelings but failed because every time I would want to, I thought I would be disturbing them by my stupid problems. So I just kept quiet. But when we met, and I finally spoke about some ‘things’ (read self made female problems only, of course) that were bothering me, not only did I get to know they feel the same way in their own life but also that I was just normal for thinking such stuff. That day I opened up to them very honestly and we had a great time. In the end I told them that I wasn’t much communicative before because I felt like I would be bothering them unnecessarily. Well, for at least 20 minutes I was abused and yelled at frantically. They all got so pissed that I would even think such a thing. Also, that they share their day-to-day details with me and never think they are bothering me, so if I think I would bother them by sharing my stuff, probably they sharing their details would be bothering me too. I explained how it never did and never would, and in response they explained how me sharing anything never bothers them. In fact they asked me to talk more, no matter how crazy I think I am, and that they miss me talking.
So the moral of the story is, just stop thinking you are bothering your friends with your problems because you are not. What will bother them would be you not sharing anything at all. Your friends know you better than anyone else, so if you’re going to pretend all is okay and think you can get off with it, you are wrong – you won’t. Your friends are always going to be there for you. They have chosen you voluntarily because they like you, your good side as well as bad. That’s the reason God didn’t make you guys siblings. He gave us the chance to choose our own friends. The more you will distance yourself from your friends, the lonelier you will become. Stick with them and they will stick with you till the very end. Everything in life is better if shared with friends, especially sorrows and tough times. : )
I learned my lesson the hard way. I hope none of you have to. This life is too short to quarrel with people whom you can spend time having fun instead.
Have you ever been in such a situation too?! Do share your experience and thoughts in the comments below.
PS. Dedicated to all my lovely friends, especially, Annayah, Carter, Crazy Mofo and Dreemers. I love you guys. ❤