Thoughts & Reflections

Positive Vibes Only

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Start this year on a positive note. Let go of all negativity within you. That’s the best way to attract positivity in life. Happiness comes from within. You have to work hard on yourself inside out to achieve it. Let’s join hands and pledge to be our most positive self this year and encourage others to be positive too.

Love,

~F x

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Thoughts & Reflections

The Anti-Bucket List

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As my last post for this year, I thought to give The Anti-Bucket List a go. This idea was shared by one of my most favorite bloggers Emma from Girl Lost in the City who picked it up from an article by Lauren Laverne in Glamour Magazine. The idea is that instead of writing a long list of things you want to do next year, take a moment and reflect upon everything you achieved in the current year. Now these don’t have to be super high achievements. Anything that sparked happiness in you or made you proud of yourself over the year can be included.

I believe this is a brilliant idea. I have been blogging for about two years and more now and at the end of the first year (2013) I posted a blog about the main things I did that year. The second year (2014) I posted a bucket list/note to self for 2015. To be very honest, I look upon ‘what I did in 2013’ post more often than the bucket list of 2015. I can’t even seem to remember what all I wrote in that list even after reading it several times. I won’t say it was pointless as I would often read it and check with myself if I followed, at least, some of it. I am also not going to say there won’t be a bucket/note to the self list for 2016 because my love for lists is very strong but for now, let me share what I achieved this year. 🙂

1- I worked full time for six months in an electrical engineering company. How mad is that? I never thought I would ever get a full-time job let alone in an engineering company so this was quite an achievement for me. I had a good experience and I learnt so much. Heck, I even wrote a series on it on the blog – The Office Series – a beginner’s guide. It sounds so funny now. Anyway, this whole experience gave me a very good idea about what it takes to be an actual working woman in the real/practical world and if I really want to continue or get back to it in the future.

2- I got over my fear of talking to people on the phone in a professional/business sense. Previously I wouldn’t even call someone to ask for their email address so I could forward them my CV or inquire about university stuff, etc. This year I did it so much that I feel it’s not that big of a deal and I can get better at it with time.

3- I have been blogging for two years and more now but it was always on and off. This year I tried to be a little more regular and even though the schedule kept changing, I am glad I kept writing.

4- I purchased my blog url famtaq.com 🙂

5- I ate out a lot this year. I tried so many new restaurants, food, desserts and drinks that now I pretty much have a good idea what I like and what I don’t.

6- I have never been a very good shopper but this year I made quite smart purchases and would think before I buy/splurge on stuff.

7- I spent on things I really like. Books, mugs, sweaters, sportswear, bags, shoes and yoga mat. 😀

8- I have somewhat spent a lot this year but the thing I am proud of is that most of it was from my own hard earned money. Before this I would buy stuff by saving up my pocket money or my family would get me thing but this was a totally new and exhilarating experience.

9- I saw Ed Sheeran perform live in Muscat. ❤

10- I had a severe muscle injury but I didn’t give up on wanting and trying staying fit and healthy. This want only makes me look forward to every workout I do and effort I put in to getting back to my normal shape.

11- I didn’t waste time on reading books I was not interested in. Also happy that I tried reading more books that I would normally not and totally fall in love with them. The Miniaturist and Girl with the Pearl Earring are two of them.

12- I avoided watching movies and series I wasn’t interested in.

13- I realized that people who have stuck with you from the very beginning and know you for who you are for real are the ones that matter the most. This does mean I realized the quality of friends is more important than quantity of it. A few awesome ones are all you need in life.

14- After completely giving up and not really wanting to work, I tried to get a part time job and succeed at it. All thanks to one of my very best friends.

15- I spoke about domestic violence awareness amongst the people I know in real life over my personal Instagram account. I feel very strongly about this cause.

16- In the last few months, I gave in to the idea of meeting new people again or people in general. I used to be very social then I don’t know what happened and I stopped and with time I turned into a complete introvert. I am still not very thrilled about the whole concept but seeing how I have met some new people and like a few of them, it makes me feel proud that I am putting myself out there.

17- I read more blogs and followed some amazing new people.

18- I started all-about-books Instagram. Follow me, @BigBooksTinyHeart, if you’re interested and want to be bookish pals. 🙂

19- I got over the idea that just because I have gained weight and am fat now I shouldn’t click pictures of myself anymore.

20- I started saving money. It might not be a lot but it’s a start and I am happy about it.

21- I finally cut my hair short. YAASS!!!!

22- I live in Oman. We hardly get good weather here but when it’s good, it’s awesome with fluffy clouds and rain. Last year I was stuck at work while it was pouring and if you know me in real life you would know how mad I am about rain. I was so very sad and kind of prayed to be able to experience Muscat’s good weather the next time. It happened!! I am so happy about it that I can’t explain it in words. Waking up to fluffy clouds and Forks (Twilight reference) like the weather is my absolute dream. And now it has come true.

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This was my list. Let me know if you write yours too. I would love to give it a read. 🙂

~F x

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Features, The Office Series

The Office Series #1

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Hiiiii guys, and welcome to my Office Series. I mentioned in my lately post I plan to do a blog every Monday this February. I have only just started working without any previous experience and I must say it is not at all what I imagined it to be. I am writing it as more of a record for myself so I can revisit when I am more stable in my career and remember how I felt as a beginner.

I am currently working in an Electrical Engineering Company in the Tendering Department.

For the first part I picked the most basic thing – the change. There are five things I have experienced in first two months of working.

 1- You’re never seeing your other working family members again. I have a 7 to 5 job and I often have to stay late at work. I hardly get to see my other siblings who are working on similar schedules. I don’t even get time to talk to my mum. I am very attached to my siblings and we are always doing something or the other but ever since I start working I get no time to see them at all.

My life revolves around the weekend because that’s the only time I can hope to catch up with them but from a few weekends I have been meeting up with friends too my second brother who I bug the most does the same so we hardly get time to spend together now.

I come from work, he is not home. I go to work before he wakes up. I have just an hour’s lunch break and we tried having lunch twice but I got late for work so that’s not happening again. It’s crazy really, this has been the hardest change for me and I am trying my best to manage between a social life and a family life.

2- No matter what your work is, every job is going to be demanding. Be it a CEO, manager, engineer, doctor, clerk or even an office boy – every position will demand you to be in a state of constant hard work. A company pays you and they need you to work accordingly (or more). You are only going to survive and thrive if you’re an asset to the company. If you are not, you can be easily replaced – and you need to keep this in mind. There is way more qualified people out there so you got to give your all wherever you work and don’t take your job for granted.

3- This is a suggestion but something I’ll highly recommend – pick a job of your interest. Be it writing, music, art, makeup, reading or anything. That way it won’t feel like work and your days will pass by so well. Working is not a piece of cake. Paycheck makes everybody happy but you really have to give your all to get that damn cheque. If you opt for a profession you have least interest in then let me assure you it is going to suck and be very hard on you. All you can hope for is that you develop some interest in it over time.

4- Forget that you will ever get time for reading seriously and by reading seriously I mean finishing off book series in days. Oh god, this was kind of a deal breaker for me because I am obsessed with books. Before I got my job I was so close to calling Borders manager here and beg him to hire me as a sale person because I was just so done.

5- If you’re anything like me you will be reduced to tears because that’s how much you will miss home. I love my bedroom and it’s my haven. I used to stay in my room so much and hated leaving it. Even today it takes great effort to get me out of there or ask me to go out. I am a huge introvert who doesn’t want to accept that I am an introvert.

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This is all for the first post in the Office Series. I hope you guys enjoyed it. if so let me know in the comments below and do come back for a new one next Monday. Till then, Bye! J

Love,

~F x

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Thoughts & Reflections

THOUGHTS ~ Staying Strong 365 Days a Week Book by Demi Lovato & Mantra Magic

I recently started reading Staying Strong 365 days a year by Demi Lovato. My friend Haya’s younger sister Sarah posted a picture of one of the pages from the book which I liked and it also got me curious. I asked her if the book was any good because I have recently read so many below average books judging by a quote thinking they would make an amazing read and none of them did. -_- Sarah replied saying it’s for people who feel insecure, depressed, suicidal and are having a tough time coping with their lives.

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I’ve read a few pages and so far liking it. It has some great advises for people of all ages as I do believe insecurity, depression and suicidal thoughts can come to anyone at any age. The first page itself made me like it because it talks about making it your goal of having a mantra of your own that helps you think clear and motivates you every day.

I started blogging last year but it wasn’t until now that I took it seriously. I guess it was a month or two back when I was reminiscing about previous years and thinking how naïve I was. I have this thing where I tend to compromise on myself just to see someone else happy. I made up my mind that it needs to stop because there were multiple occasions when I put myself down and let someone else shine. This usually happened when I believed that I didn’t deserve good things in life and other people did. I do know it is not wrong to be there for someone or help people out but it is wrong if you are not okay and are doing it just because you can’t see someone else upset.

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I came up with ‘Love yourself – often and enough’ as a reminder to let myself know that I need to love other people alright but I don’t need to stop loving myself in the process. You must be a priority in your life or no one else will make you a priority in theirs. That’s something I’ve learned after wasting so much time on so many people who indirectly showed me that I didn’t love or respect myself enough for them to treat me with love and respect in return.

I now say this to myself in situations when I know I am slipping away into the hopeless / sadness / depression zone. I keep saying it till I don’t start feeling okay. I often add it at the end of my blogs because I do believe we forget to love ourselves with all the high expectations and goals we set for ourselves to achieve. We get busy in them and in process forget that there is lil old us who need some love and attention too by our own self.

I was very happy to read that Demi included such a small but vital advice in her book. We all need a mantra that motivates and inspires us every day.

Do you have a mantra of your own? Please do share. It’s always good to inspire positivity.

Until next time,

Love yourself – often and enough! 🙂

~F x

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iWrite

Why Do I Read..?!

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Have you ever felt like if you put down a book and stop reading for a while, your whole world will come crashing down?!

Do you ever get the feeling that the only thing holding you to your normal state is your books in which you bore yourself day and night just to skip past your reality?!

Or do you ever feel like just sitting in a place and arguing with yourself that you are just going to waste your time sitting idle so it is better to hold a book and read it cover to cover?!

I have felt almost every single one of those emotions.

Ever since this year started I got back to reading books. I don’t remember when was the last time I read a book with passion or such eagerness like I am doing now.

I can recall reading a book previously; more like savoring it’s every single page, word by word. But now all I can see or feel is me in a rush to end the book as quickly as I can and start another one right away. I do not stop for anything. All I want to do is just read, read, and read, no matter what.

Reading has become so important and such an integral part to me that even if I am sitting idle for a second or browsing the internet I feel like I am wasting my precious time which can be well spent on reading a book instead.

I don’t know the reason as to why I feel this way but I do feel like if I ever stop reading my world will collapse the very instant. I believe it is better to lose myself into a world that doesn’t exist but is at least an immense source of comfort.

I think if I don’t, all the lies and make beliefs I tell myself to keep going from one day to another will reveal their selves, and confront me telling how my reality is nothing but a bunch of fake scenarios I keep making in my head to survive these long days and even longer nights. It might disclose to me about how everything I hold dear is just a hoax, and it is time to let go of it, for my own good.

But maybe I am not strong enough to do it, to let go, not right now, and maybe never.

I can’t stop reading because I am not prepared to face my own actualities. I am too afraid to deal with my own lies.

iWrite

Why Write?!

The reason why people like me need to write is so that we can put our minds at ease. We tend to live too many realities and lives parallel to our real existence and hence are bound to lose ourselves in them. This leads to us not being able to distinguish between the real one and the one we had imagined in our head or lived for someone else.

For people like me, writing is a therapy. To set aside what had been done, what we have been through or simply felt, so that it does not come back haunting us when we don’t have our guards up and take us back to the moment we are trying to forget. Or best trying to put in a picture of words so that we can let that piece rest in peace in some corner of our mind where we don’t have to visit it as often as our unconscious mind is making us to.

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Thoughts & Reflections

Repetition: The Common Exercise for Denial

Just last night I was having a conversation with my mum and I was talking about how I want to do a certain thing. Mid-way the convo I realized how unacceptable it is for me to do so. So instead of simply admitting that I shouldn’t, I started giving reasons as to why I shouldn’t. This made me think of a particular practice that I am quite certain most of us do.

Often times we keep repeating to ourselves and to others why we shouldn’t do a certain thing. Pretending that we are mature people who weight down all pros and cons to a situation.

Consciously, we keep giving reasons for not doing it, no matter someone proves us wrong. we still repeat how we want it to be. Subconsciously this is done not in order to show off in front of our friends that we are making a smart calculated decision but because we are trying to convince ourselves with these reasons to keep us from pursuing it. Though if given a chance we would do it in a heartbeat.

These reasons that we can ignore easily but will not because we are not alone in this decision making process. All our decisions are heavily influenced by our family, friends, society, culture and up-bringing. We continuously keep talking about these reasons with people or in our head so that it can somewhat permanently stick there.

Such a situation occurs mostly when we want to do something which is not acceptable in our society or/and culture. One of the most common examples can be of choosing a profession like being a writer or a singer, such sort of creative professions, but we don’t often opt for them because we are either not confident about ourselves or our family is not supportive enough.

Yes it is somewhat sad to realize that even though we are kids of today’s generation, the decision making process is still the same and so are the influential factors. We still opt for what is considered acceptable rather than being different. Some of us who are brave enough to be different, bravo to them all.

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